Jb Knows

A Teen Writer’s Trip to the Top

Pet Peeves January 10, 2009

Starting off, the phrase ‘pet peeves’ bothers me.  It is one of the most annoying in the English language.  When I the words ‘pet peeve’, I almost want to slap the person whose mouth it came out of.
That isn’t the only phrase that ticks me off.  What I hate are people in class who give an answer and upon discovering it is wrong, say “I was just kidding’.  It is quite obvious that they were not kidding and really did think is was the right answer.  Same with people who follow the answer with ‘Oh, I lied’.
There are so many things in this world that I cannot stand.  Here are some of them;

I hate how during lock down everyone seems to talk but me.  Even the quiet girl who rarely talks has something to say in a lock down drill.
When people physically switch the desks around so they can rest their feet in a basket.  Perhaps what I hate more is the gum underneath the desk I feel as I am putting it back.
People who throw a piece of paper in the trash when the recycling bin is right next to it.  It doesn’t take that much energy to walk an extra step.
I hate having to cheat off my friend on a test and still failing.
Wet ink rubbing off on my pinkie as I write.  Not to mention the smudges a pencil leaves behind.
I hate being called a teenager, young, a student, even though deep down I know I am.
Seeing people not wash their hangs after they go to the bathroom.  I understand there is barely any time between classes.  I also understand, and have experienced, the chance of being late by the small amount of time it takes to wash your hands.  Even when people do wash there hands, it seems the paper towel dispenser is either empty or broken.  You end up walking out of there shaking your hands furiously.
People improperly using the word ironic.  Ironic means ironic. It does not mean unfortunate, coincidental, or any of the other adjectives that you confuse it with.
When you find a really cute piece of clothing on the rack and they have like twenty in size XS, two in size 3X, and not a single one in your size.
When someone leaves their phone number at the end of a long message and they say it so fast you can’t understand it and have to listen multiple times to figure it out.
When someone is writing on a chalkboard and then they erase it to write something new, but they don’t erase all of it, so you still see half of a letter here and there.
When you’re with a group of people and you think nobody saw that you just tripped, and you think you’re in the clear. But the one person who did see it points it out to everybody else.
I hate people that are…
Hypocritical, Two-Faced, Stubborn, Conceited, Shallow, Self-Centered, Obnoxious, Rude, Self-Absorbed, Ignorant, Closed Minded, Wanna-Be’s, Indecisive, Insensitive, Back-Stabbers, Overly Optimistic, Naive, Overly Sensitive, Egotistical, Posers or Users.
To sum it all up, I hate people that are breathing.

 

I Don’t Wan’t To Go Home (Part 1) January 10, 2009

This is an interview I conducted with my sister when I couldn’t fall asleep.

I think we should just burn all the AIDS people and start with a clean slate.  We should  burn the cancer people too…Oh wait, they’re not contagious.      Never mind.

Why don’t we just burn the Jews too?
Okay, sounds like fun.  We’ll make it a party.  I should make a scare-Jew.
Is it going to have or face on it?
No, Eric’s. Now he’s going to kill me.
Like you killed AIDS, cancer and Jews?
I think I’ll kill Christians too. And Muslims and Catholics.
Catholics are Christians.
Everyone except Levain Satanist and atheists.
What about agnostics?
Screw them, they think God might exist.
And Satanists worship Satan?
No, they don’t.  Well some don’t.  They just like the name Satanists because it scares the  crap out of people.  They basically think everyone is their own god.      And will do basically anything for their friend’s happiness.
What about family?
Phh.  Like I said anything that makes us happy, not family.  You can all die for all I care.  Actually, that would make me happy.
What do you think about science?
What kind of science?  The human body? Awesome.  Dead things?  Awesome.  Science fiction is awesome.  The math part sucks.
What about basic biology, ie evolution?
(Starts sighing) ‘Evolution is a mystery’.  I don’t know anything about it.  Do I think that Darwin’s theory is possibly true?  Yes, yes I do.
You mentioned you like science fiction.  What about books in general?
Huh?  (Repeats question) Books suck.  Reading sucks.  I rather people read to me.
Doesn’t that kinda ruin the point?
Huh? (Repeats question) No, there is, like, movies and stuff like that.
What about poetry?
I think it’s alright.
What do you think about other people’s poetry?  Do you have a favorite poet?
What?  Eh… Poe is kinda awesome.
What do you think of my poetry?
I think it sucks.
Why?
‘Cause a) it’s hard to read your writing and b) it sounds like you’re trying to be something your not.
And?
That’s it.
That’s it?
Yeah.
Would you like it better if I wrote neater?
Probably not.
Yet you use it as an excuse for not liking my peotry overall?
So?  Have a problem with that? [censored sentence]
Well, don’t you think that is a bit harsh, unfair and unrealistic?
No, it’s pretty fair in my eyes.
What are your plans after you graduate?
Probably going to end up going to s’craft [community college].  After that, an Art Institute.
What is your GPA?
I have no clue.
Is it 2.5 or higher.
Oh.  No.  Lower.  Yeah.  2.3333 and so on.
So, are you getting a degree?
Don’t know.
No idea?
Not yet.  I’ll now when I get it.
If you were going to describe me, in detail, to someone, what would you say?
You?  Um.. I would say…little bit taller than me…snot nosed brat who thinks she knows what she’s always saying.
Anything else?
Won’t stop talking.
Okay, okay, I get the hint.  Anything else?
Oh, yeah, my quote. ‘Blood is pretty, but it stains.’
Good night.
Whatever.