This is an interview I conducted with my sister when I couldn’t fall asleep.
I think we should just burn all the AIDS people and start with a clean slate. We should burn the cancer people too…Oh wait, they’re not contagious. Never mind.
Why don’t we just burn the Jews too?
Okay, sounds like fun. We’ll make it a party. I should make a scare-Jew.
Is it going to have or face on it?
No, Eric’s. Now he’s going to kill me.
Like you killed AIDS, cancer and Jews?
I think I’ll kill Christians too. And Muslims and Catholics.
Catholics are Christians.
Everyone except Levain Satanist and atheists.
What about agnostics?
Screw them, they think God might exist.
And Satanists worship Satan?
No, they don’t. Well some don’t. They just like the name Satanists because it scares the crap out of people. They basically think everyone is their own god. And will do basically anything for their friend’s happiness.
What about family?
Phh. Like I said anything that makes us happy, not family. You can all die for all I care. Actually, that would make me happy.
What do you think about science?
What kind of science? The human body? Awesome. Dead things? Awesome. Science fiction is awesome. The math part sucks.
What about basic biology, ie evolution?
(Starts sighing) ‘Evolution is a mystery’. I don’t know anything about it. Do I think that Darwin’s theory is possibly true? Yes, yes I do.
You mentioned you like science fiction. What about books in general?
Huh? (Repeats question) Books suck. Reading sucks. I rather people read to me.
Doesn’t that kinda ruin the point?
Huh? (Repeats question) No, there is, like, movies and stuff like that.
What about poetry?
I think it’s alright.
What do you think about other people’s poetry? Do you have a favorite poet?
What? Eh… Poe is kinda awesome.
What do you think of my poetry?
I think it sucks.
‘Cause a) it’s hard to read your writing and b) it sounds like you’re trying to be something your not.
Would you like it better if I wrote neater?
Yet you use it as an excuse for not liking my peotry overall?
So? Have a problem with that? [censored sentence]
Well, don’t you think that is a bit harsh, unfair and unrealistic?
No, it’s pretty fair in my eyes.
What are your plans after you graduate?
Probably going to end up going to s’craft [community college]. After that, an Art Institute.
What is your GPA?
I have no clue.
Is it 2.5 or higher.
Oh. No. Lower. Yeah. 2.3333 and so on.
So, are you getting a degree?
Not yet. I’ll now when I get it.
If you were going to describe me, in detail, to someone, what would you say?
You? Um.. I would say…little bit taller than me…snot nosed brat who thinks she knows what she’s always saying.
Won’t stop talking.
Okay, okay, I get the hint. Anything else?
Oh, yeah, my quote. ‘Blood is pretty, but it stains.’