Jb Knows

A Teen Writer’s Trip to the Top

The _____ Day Ever (Part 1) February 20, 2009

Why today may be the worst day so far in my (young) life:

1. Someone that I like is getting married.  It does not matter who.  I do not want to marry him.  But the fact that he is currently engaged is depressing.

2. My boyfriend was not in school today.  I carefully made the point of wearing the necklace he gave me today, and he was not there to see me effort.  The reason that he was not here is because he is sick.  I coughed a couple times today and fear I have caught his cold.  And he told me he was not contagious!

3. The Forensics 3 Curse.  Every year, the day of the 3rd forensics meeting, I manage to injure at least two of my fingers.  I forgot about the curse until I received a paper cut.  Later, before the meeting, I smashed another one of my fingers in my organizer.

4. One of my friends may be gay.  This in itself is not an issue.  The issue is that this is someone I have/do have a crush on and who, I believed, had a crush/was hitting on me.  Could that be any more embarrassing?

5. I have not finished a poem in days.  Also I found out a friend of mine is a VERY good writer.  You know, good for him.  But it only makes me look even worse.

6. My English sucks (excuse my French).  I have a pen pal in Korea who is hoping (or is it hopping?) that I will help her out with her English.  As if I am an expert in the language I claim to speak!

7. Lunch was a series of badness.  First I clearly called a seat check, which was ignored.  When I came back, the only seat left was one that was covered in glitter.  I took it. Then I proceded to spill msahed potatoes all over myself.  Not to mention, before I had I chance to bite into my sandwhich, Scotty looked over (we usually order the same thing) and says “Just so you know, the food tastes like ass today.”

 

The Best Things Are Those You Ignore December 25, 2008

First thing in the morning, the shaking is not that bad. I’d stand with you for twenty minutes, but it won’t come to me. I’m not awake enough to feel the pain, remember why I am there. I’d stand there for twenty minutes, foolishly feeling happiness, but deep down I must know. The shaking starts up after first hour, passing time. I’m going towards your class, or at least next door. Chemistry. I walk in and instantly have to go to the water fountain. I need a drink. My mouth is dry and tastes like copper. I past you, sitting at the counter and hope you don’t look up. Or you are standing there, right outside your door. I keep walking, duck my head and you give me a strange look. You ask me on the way back if I am angry at, or if I am avoiding, you. I turn and walk into class, not answering the question.

I shake for the first fifteen minutes. At least. My partner, Heather, asks me what is wrong. I tell her that I’m just cold. Really cold. Tears swell up in my eyes and I fight them back. I hear you next door, talking to your class. You crack a joke and I hear everyone laugh. Someone goes over and closes the door, complaining about how loud you talk. Hey, I was listening to that.

It starts back up again the last five minutes. I have to past by your room to get to class. My feet turn me into your classroom while my head screams. Please don’t notice me shaking. Notice and fix it. I do not know what I want.

I now shake every passing time. I think that I might run into you, even though you are on the other side of the school. It’s possible, but not probable. So I write you these letters, hoping you would eventually understand without them. You’re not a mind reader, I will admit. Admitting is the first step to recovery.

 

First Thing in the Morning December 9, 2008

Filed under: Unfinished Work — samke23 @ 11:39 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

Yeah, it’s called a stress relief ball. Not such a good thing to start playing catch with, as you may have noticed. It’s for relieving stress, which I certainly have lots of. These are the many stresses I face when I walk into the room…

These books are heavy, should I put them down? Will anyone  get mad at me if I put them on this table here, does anybody need to use it? I’ll put it on this kids desk. No, I will not move my stuff, you’re not even using it right now. What do you mean ‘what am I doing here’? I live here. I want to be here, unlike some people.

Matt, this is not your room. It’s more my room then it is yours, so why don’t you just get out? Sorry for fighting with your students. Yes, I know violence doesn’t solve anything. But it can be so much fun.

Charlie, get out, and enough with the eyebrow raising. Charlie is not your student, and he is not a friend, so I have permission to control when he comes and goes. Leave, and take Nicky with you. You’re taking up my attention. I’ll warn them both not to hang out with Brett, but they won’t listen.

Who’s Brett? None of your business Chris, just shut up for once. You and Adam can leave too. I don’t particularly like any of you. I’m not here to listen to you guys complain and gossip and say stupid stuff I don’t care about.

You guys are luck you are friends with him or I would personally through you out. Can’t wait until you graduate, this June. Hey there, how are you doing today? Fine, thanks, how about you? Oops, I just asked you that. I’ll go crawl into a hole and die. I am NOT overreacting and I am NOT dramatic.

Okay, maybe just a little bit. Major mood swing. Try not to cry, do not shed a tear over this. Besides, it will ruin you mascara. You do not accidentally poke yourself in the eye every morning to have it ruined. Organize the papers on the counter to preoccupy yourself.

Sex? Do I want to talk about sex? It’s too early in the morning to be having this conversation. You got a full nights sleep? Well good for you, I have been up since four, worried about how horrible a person I am. I’m not looking you in the eye if we are having this discussion. (Not that I would anyways.)

I’ll turn around, blushing, pretending to roll my eyes so that I don’t have to look at yours. Wonder what color eyes you have. I think they’re blue or brown. Or green. I have no idea. I am not staring. What is there to stare at?

You? Please don’t flatter yourself. Yes, I can tell that is what you’re thinking just by looking at you. I can read you like a book. Mind reader. Leave, why would I leave? Oh, right, I have to go to class. I’m not going to be late, I made it yesterday.

I am not lying, I never lie to you. Except, wait, that was a lie. I do lie to you, but then I feel really, really, really bad about it. Go to class. Right, I’ll go learn something. Fun, fun. Big smile. Be careful out there. You know what I’m talking about.

There’s a lot of weirdos.